Q: My heart is heavy because I see couples turning to divorce like it’s an option. I know Yah is against divorce and against divorce and remarriage. I know what the word says and there seems to be some “loop holes.” I can refute their case when adultery is not in the picture but how does one refute divorce when adultery has taken place based on scripture? And what about returning to your spouse based on Deut 24 1-4?

A: I feel the pain of your heart, my heart also breaks when I see people suffer because of false teaching in the churches. And their children suffer the most but their hearts are too hard to care.

As far as the “adultery” loophole… that has been thoroughly debunked. The word is actually “fornication” and it was related to a specific law in Deuteronomy 22. In that law, and betrothed couple could annul the marriage if the wife was found to have lied about her virginity.

The example in the bible is Mary and Joseph – the “parents” of Jesus Himself! Joseph was espoused to be married to Mary, and he had the option to “divorce” her because she got pregnant by someone else before their wedding day. But the Angel showed up and told Him that Jesus was the Son of God and the rest is the history of our Salvation.

So committing adultery in the middle of a marriage is not the same as “fornication” before the marriage, and the loophole does not exist. Adultery is simply a sin that must be repented of and forgiven.

If you do not forgive others of their sins, God will not forgive you of your sins (Mark 11:26).

The adultery loop hole is completely false doctrine and a fabrication, and people who teach it will have GREATER CONDEMNATION (James 3:1).

As far as Deuteronomy 24:1-4, Jesus addressed it in Mark 10:

Mark 10: 4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the HARDNESS OF YOUR HEART he wrote you this precept. 6 But FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE CREATION God made them male and female. 7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are NO MORE TWAIN, BUT ONE FLESH. 9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

So when Jesus said “Repent for the Kingdom of Heaven is at Hand” – He brought in the New Covenant – which took us back to Creation Law of the Father – marriage is a lifelong covenant with one man and one woman.

The New Covenant gives us new heart, so we can no longer claim to have the HARD hearts that some of the transgression laws of Moses were written for. In the New Covenant if you don’t forgive others, God will NOT forgive you.

So people that claim to be able to divorce and marry another because their “hearts are hard” are separating themselves from the kingdom of God and their loophole is in the law of Moses which will not save their souls.

You can’t claim to be a follower of Jesus… and then when things get hard say: “I have a hard heart, I can’t forgive, I’m going with Moses and the Pharisees.” Moses and the Pharisees can’t save you.

But despite all that… there is an out to a marriage that is abusive… it’s called “separation” if an unbelieving spouse CHOOSES to depart from the spouse.

BUT the caveat to that is that separation does NOT void the one-flesh covenant.

You are still held accountable to the Covenant you made with your mouth.

So separation does NOT mean you get to marry someone else. It means to remain single until the death of your spouse… or be reconciled. This is taught as clear as day in Romans 7:2-3, and 1 Corinthians 7:11, 39.

When those are the options, then a person can decide if unforgiveness and having a hard heart is worth it.

BUT there are times when even if you have a soft heart and you forgive your spouse, they still make the choice to hate you and leave you.

The proper way to be unmarried or separated in the Kingdom is to remain unmarried and to serve the Lord. This in confirmed by Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians 7. Jesus also spoke about eunuch’s in the kingdom of heaven that chose not to be married but to focus on accelerating things in the Kingdom by continual prayer, fasting, almsgiving, and discipleship.

Here’s some other links on the Sospression blog about this topic:




A great book to pick up that gives the history behind the remarriage false doctrine, including when it started, who started it, how it was initially received, how it was pushed in the churches, is the one found in this link: (free review here):

Here is a quick playlist of videos sharing the Truth on the subject and why most pastors lie about it. These videos are just an introduction. To get full understanding, you will eventually have to read more of the resources listed above!

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