All things in Love, and for His Glory: A Testimony of Infant Loss and the Faithfulness of God


Love and Glory. My baby girls in heaven. My baby girls in heaven. It still feels surreal to write that, say that, think that. I have 4 daughters. That statement has to sink in. This is the first time I have thought and articulated that fact. I have four daughters.

I just realized a dream I had may have been about my girls, not sure. This is very hard to write, but I am doing it for God, to testify of His goodness through the valley of the shadow of death. There will be random streams of thought littered in this testimony. The emotions are still so raw, it’s the only way I can get this on paper right now.

“Mom, I’m pregnant…” I blurted out over the phone. She was in the hospital at the time, and had a few more days to wait before undergoing heart surgery. Maybe I should not have called her, she was in the hospital. Perhaps that should have been an announcement for another time. But she was the first one I wanted to share the news with. After God and my husband, she was my greatest support.

“Oh, Reena, I am so proud of you.” Her voice and her words were comforting and reassuring. This would be my 6th child. Knowing she was happy and proud of me, made me feel confident in our decision to receive children when God sent them. I called my OB and set my first prenatal appointment after I got off of the phone with her.

My mother died April 1, 2019. I was around 6 weeks pregnant with baby Love. I grieved so hard, cried so hard, screamed so hard. My mommy. Over the weeks she was hospitalized before she passed away, I felt like she was being ripped away from me, and I could not stop it. During my other pregnancies, whenever I would get emotional about different things and call my mom crying, she would always tell me to try and calm down, that too much stress was not good for the baby.

Well, what was I supposed to do now? How was I supposed to stay calm now? The grief was so great, the stress was so great, the pain so loud yet there were no words to describe it. She had told me she was proud of me when I called and told her I was pregnant, just weeks earlier. Now, here I was, without her, trying to remember to stay calm, so as not to stress out the baby when my own mother who carried me in her womb, slipped away from me. Staying calm proved too difficult this time. I felt like someone had ripped my insides to shreds.

Months of grieving. Going through my pregnancy, dragging myself to prenatal appointments. Trying not to grieve too hard and stress my baby. Great sadness became even greater. I got a call from my midwife, saying they found some abnormalities with the baby and I needed to come in for an appointment with maternal fetal medicine.

“No, they are wrong. I am going to have this baby and everything is going to be fine” that was my first reaction after talking with my midwife. I wanted to carry myself and my baby through this on faith. Afterall, doctors have been wrong so many times about these things. So many times. This would just be another one of those times.

When I told my husband, he was not bothered by it either. We are people of faith.  At my appointment with the maternal fetal medicine doctor, he explained to me the extent of the problems with the baby. She had a condition called Tricime 18, which effects the 18th chromosome, causing multiple physical abnormalities which most babies cannot survive.

I made the unfortunate mistake of attending this appointment alone. Tears rushed to my eyes that I could not hold back. They shot out of my eyes before I could catch them. The doctor seemed taken aback at my response. He left the room to give me privacy as I continued to crumble. Searching for my phone I frantically called my husband, no answer, I called my Dad, no answer. All I wanted was to talk to my mom, to tell her what was happening. To tell her what they said about my baby.

I finally reached my husband on the phone, and I told him what the doctors were saying. I can’t remember everything that was said, but I wanted him to make it not true. Somehow, I wanted him to tell me something that would fix the baby. My heart was so desperate. I left the doctor’s office with tears streaming down my face, people stared at me, I was visibly distraught. My sister was watching my children downstairs in the hospital lobby area. I tried to pull myself together before I saw the children. But they knew something was wrong.  We got in the van to drive home. No longer able to contain my emotions I pulled over and cried in a Walgreens parking lot, with my sister and children in the car. My heart was breaking. At home I tried to walk in faith, I tried to speak words of resurrection over my baby, I tried to speak healing and life over my baby.

Despite our prayers, on July 25, 2019 I gave birth to a stillborn baby girl who was 24 weeks gestation. We named her Love Anna. The delivery was chaotic. I have a rare blood type and an even more rare antibody in my blood from a previous pregnancy. Before the planned delivery, the hospital wanted to have extra blood on hand in case of an emergency during the delivery. However, due to the rarity of my blood, the hospital was unable to locate any in time.

The doctors spoke to me of alternative plans and what they would do in case I started bleeding after the delivery. There was a risk of the placenta not detaching because of the early delivery. In that case, they would need to go in and surgically remove it. That procedure would also carry its own risks. Due to the baby being deceased inside my womb for so long, there was also risk of me contracting an infection.

However, due to prayer and God’s gentleness, our little girl Love was born in caul, the sac fully intact. There was no bleeding, there was no problem with placental detachment, there was no infection. God kept me safe in the hospital, and I am so grateful and thankful.

The days leading up to the delivery were hard days. Arranging child care for our five children so I could go give birth, going back and forth with the doctors on rather or not they could get the blood, changing hospitals, feeling sorrowful because I did not have the emotional support of my mother for the first time in my life.

It felt as if I was in a cloud of pain…sprinkled with rainbow raindrops.  The rainbow being the great way God protected me in my most vulnerable moment, the way people loved on and helped us as we went through this. The rainbow being the hope God offered us with the purpose He gave our deceased child. We had hope, in a dark and desperate situation. God gave us a rainbow of His Love.

Months earlier I dreamed that my mom video-called me. When I answered she was in a pediatricians office. She was holding a baby girl. The baby was only wearing a diaper as if she were being examined by the doctor. I vaguely remember holding a toddler as I watched the video call in the dream. I asked my mom who the baby belonged to. Then she hung up the video call abruptly. It was clear she did not want to tell me who the baby belonged to. Love Anna was born and buried in July 2019.

I became pregnant again in December 2019. How happy we were, how excited we were. The children were delighted, they had been devastated by Love’s death. When Love died, my girls talked and prayed about the new baby that would come. We thought those prayers were answered when I became pregnant five months after delivering Love.

However, the joy quickly turned to a battle when I started cramping and spotting at 5 weeks. In hopes of stopping my body from miscarrying the baby I used an herbal tincture called cramp bark that stops muscle spasms.  Wanting to do all I could to facilitate a healthy pregnancy, I had several ultrasounds over a 5-week period, the baby, placenta and sac seemed normal.

The spotting stopped around 10 or 11 weeks. All seemed to be going well after the spotting stopped, the baby had a strong heartbeat. During one ultrasound at around 12 weeks we actually saw her flipping and moving vigorously. A joyful sight after losing our daughter Love.

Our 16-week prenatal appointment was cancelled due to the plandemic and Covid-19. At 20 weeks I was scheduled to have an anatomy scan to determine the sex of the baby and check on organ development and growth.

As the time grew closer, I became more and more nervous. Thinking the nervousness, I felt was residual trauma from losing Love, I tried to brush it off and put on a brave face. Going into the ultrasound appointment I felt very uneasy.

When the ultra sound began the tech began to ask me if I experienced any illness or bleeding in the pregnancy. I told her I had mild spotting early on but it had subsided. Sternness in her face, avoiding eye contact with me she locked her eyes on the ultrasound screen. She said she needed to go get the doctor. It is not typical for a doctor to be brought into an ultra sound, that is a clear sign that something is very wrong.

The doctor came in and told me that my baby’s heart was not beating. He was very blunt and to the point.  In that moment there are no words. What can you say? He said it seemed as if the baby passed away some time ago.

Once again, I was at the appointment alone. “There is no heartbeat” each word burned like a scorching flame on my heart. The nurse and doctor crept out of the room, unable to comfort a weeping stranger.

The hopes of holding a sweet baby in my arms, the joy that flows when the baby is born, all the plans that danced in my head while looking forward to welcoming a new child. All that I had imagined, taken from me, and my arms left empty.

Calling my husband and mid wife on the phone, and just like when I got Love’s diagnosis, I wanted my husband to fix it, I wanted the mid-wife to fix it. But no one on earth could fix it this time either. I cried my heart out. I did not know if I was able to drive myself home, but I had no choice.

I had the van and my husband was at home with our five children. I had to drive myself home. Screaming in the van, crying to God that I am sorry, so sorry for anything I did that caused my baby’s sweet brief life to be taken away. I am so sorry.

The worst part, the worst part…my children were waiting at home anticipating my return so they could find out the gender of their new sibling. God helped me get myself together, after sitting in the parking garage for about half an hour I drove home. Face stained with tears, I pulled into the driveway and five beautiful faces appeared in the picture window in the house, waiting excitedly, watching me approach the door. My heart was in my feet. I felt unbearable shame, guilt, pain, I had to break their hearts again, for the third time in 12 months. My mother dying, Love dying, now this baby was also dead.

 Another induction for a stillborn. Again, no blood available to have on hand for me due to the rare antibody in my blood. Days for the induction process to take effect while the medical staff tried to find units of blood. There was no blood, the doctors came up with a back-up plan in-case my uterus started bleeding after delivery.

When I was finally admitted and labor had begun, I was lying in the hospital bed, journaling, and praying. I jotted down “God, somehow use this for your glory”. Contractions start and labor is progressing. I looked over at my husband Esosa and asked him what he wanted to name the baby. He said he was considering the name Glory. He did not know what I had written in my journal. It was confirmation, God was going to use this for His glory somehow.

When the baby was born that is when we found out the gender. It was a little girl. Our daughter, Glory Osai.

By God’s grace I delivered Glory safely, she was born in the amniotic sac, and there was no bleeding. My God is so faithful even in difficult circumstances.

The names of the girls we lost, Love Anna, and Glory Osai are a constant reminder to me what I should be doing. How grateful I am that my girl’s lives were not in vain, they have purpose. They remind me that I should be walking in Love, praying like Anna, and doing all things for the Glory of the Most High.

The smiles of my living children are much brighter to me, their laughter, silliness and just their presence, living, breathing presence, is something I no longer want to take for granted.

I have an assignment, to fight through the challenges that come with motherhood, to see the good and do it all with Love. Love is the principle thing. Doing all things in Love is what gives your work and sacrifices an eternal weight of Glory.

Women of God, if you are holding a living baby, count it a privilege. If you get to wake up at night with a living baby, count it a joy.

If you get to raise children, count it an honor. Children are a heritage of the Lord and the fruit womb a reward. Count it a joy.

Psalms 127:Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

James 1:My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

Love tolerates everything except Rebellion

LOVE tolerates every form of Action except REBELLION.

Revelation 2:20 Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou SUFFEREST that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols. 21 And I gave her space to REPENT of her fornication; and she repented not.

The problem with letting rebellion go unchecked is that it reproduces, and then multiplies into the next generation.

Love will not allow rebellion to proliferate to the innocent, so it must be exposed and eliminated spiritually.

REBELLION receives every form of Love except CORRECTION.

Zephaniah 3:2 She obeyed not the voice; she received not CORRECTION ; she trusted not in the Lord; she drew not near to her God.

Rebellion doesn’t care what God has done for it, or what type of love God has given to it… as soon as correction comes – pride will rise up and block any further progress.

Fools receive every form of love except correction, because their trust is only in their own limited understanding.

Let God Define what Love really is; then the confusion that leads to rebellion against correction will disappear.

When you learn what Love really is, you will learn to embrace Correction and Grow into the Mature image of Christ.

Season of Blessings and Warnings

The Season is shifted, tremendous Blessings and Favor are available.

But Please Believe – God is NOT Mocked:

There’s no shortcuts past repentance.
There’s no shortcuts past forgiveness.
There’s no shortcuts past obedience.
There’s no shortcuts past healing&deliverance.
There’s no shortcuts past His Commandments.
There’s no shortcuts past His Order.
There’s no shortcuts past His Spirit!

Enjoy your new season but if you thought you snuck past God’s Word the devil will SNEAK you! #message #beblessed #butbewarned #babylonwillfall #judgmentiscoming


The Testimonies of the Historian Josephus MATCHING UP WITH the Testimony of Jesus Himself is the Nail in the Coffin for the Apocryphal Books, Extra Books and Pseudigraphical Books being Considered Anointed Scripture.

Even Josephus the Historian Confirmed that the Hebrew Scriptures consisted of only 22 Books (which combine dual books into 1 book, and the minor prophets into 1 book) which is the same as our 39 books in the Old Testament.

We have but twenty-two [books] containing the history of all time, books that are justly believed in; and of these, five are the books of Moses, which comprise the law and earliest traditions from the creation of mankind down to his death. From the death of Moses to the reign of Artaxerxes, King of Persia, the successor of Xerxes, the prophets who succeeded Moses wrote the history of the events that occurred in their own time, in thirteen books. The remaining four documents comprise hymns to God and practical precepts to men (William Whiston, trans., Flavius Josephus against Apion, Vol. I, in Josephus, Complete Works, Grand Rapids: Kregel, 1960, p. 8).

Josephus is confirming exactly what the Scriptures say, that the OT Scriptures consist of the Tanach: Law (Torah), Prophets (Joshua, Chronicles, Kings, Samuel, Major and Minor Prophets, and Wisdom Writings (Psalms-Song of Solomon).

Jesus Himself Confirms that the Scriptures only consist of the Law, the Prophets, and the Wisdom Writings (Psalms) aka the Tanach.

Luke 24:44 And he said unto them, These are the words which I spake unto you, while I was yet with you, that all things must be fulfilled, which were written in the LAW of Moses, and in the PROPHETS, and in the PSALMS, concerning me.

Jesus Himself confirms that the Prophetic books ended after Malachi (during the reign of Artaxerxes).

Luke 11:51 From the blood of Abel unto the blood of Zacharias which perished between the altar and the temple: verily I say unto you, It shall be required of this generation.

The testimony of OT Scriptures goes from the blood of Abel (Genesis) to the blood of Zachariah (the last minor prophet). Righteous blood speaks and has a testimony.

What is the Timeline of Zachariah and Artaxerxes?

Zechariah was written between 520-518 B.C., but he lived long after that.

Artaxerxes became king in 465 BC and died in 425 B.C.

Malachi was written near or before 433 B.C.

Ezra, Nehemiah, and Malachi were written during the reign of ARTAXERXES.

Haggai and Zechariah, if they lived to see their prophesies fulfilled, died during the reign of Artaxerxes.

Jesus CONFIRMED that Zechariah Son of Berekiah died IN A TEMPLE, which means he was killed after the temple was rebuilt.

So both Jesus the King and the Josephus the Historian confirm that the Old Testament Scriptures ended during the reign of Artaxerxes and the time of Zachariah and Malachi.

This leaves no room for the Apocryphal books or the extra books of Jasher, Enoch and Jubilees to be included in Scripture.

The only books that were added to Scripture after that was the testimonies of Jesus’s Apostles, as prophesied in Isaiah:

Isaiah 8:16 Bind up the testimony, seal the law among my disciples.

These 3 are One

The biggest problem with the Body of Christ today is that people claim to hear the Holy Spirit; but they don’t submit to the SCRIPTURES (Jesus) or to the TESTIMONY of the FATHER (the 10 Commandments).The Holy Spirit will NEVER contradict the Father or the Son. These 3 are One. Sounds basic but its very uncommon to find saints with all 3.

Attacking the False Gods of Fortune & Destiny

I’ve been preaching and teaching against the false gods of fortune and destiny since 2013 and I’m glad to finally hear someone else call this thing out!

Everybody’s seeking a Fortune and a Destiny and a Purpose and a Vision and a Dream that comes from the hearts of men and not YAH!

Meanwhile no one is concerned about the fact that most Christians violate Gods Commandments habitually and Do not Obey the Order of King Jesus!

BUT we want political power, we want money, we want influence over the media!

It’s no wonder how many of Gods so called children end up serving devils and forsaking His Holy Mountain!

There will be consequences! Please Repent today and become a real life servant of God!

Isaiah 65
11“But you who forsake the LORD,
Who forget My holy mountain,
Who set a table for Fortune,
And who fill cups with mixed wine for Destiny,
12 I will destine you for the sword,
And all of you will bow down to the slaughter.
Because I called, but you did not answer;
I spoke, but you did not hear.
And you did evil in My sight
And chose that in which I did not delight.”
13Therefore, thus says the Lord GOD,
“Behold, My servants will eat, but you will be hungry.
Behold, My servants will drink, but you will be thirsty.
Behold, My servants will rejoice, but you will be put to shame.
14“Behold, My servants will shout joyfully with a glad heart,
But you will cry out with a heavy heart,
And you will wail with a broken spirit.

Our generation has been seduced by a Demon of False Purpose – Fortune & Destiny, but our true purpose is to Love and Serve God and People in the Beauty of Holiness.

You WILL face JUDGEMENT: Here’s How to PASS Your Judgement Day TEST

The fake-love, fake-prayer, people-pleasing preachers of today won’t tell you this Bad News, but here is the Truth:


But I also have some Good News too. THE JUDGE Himself has given us EXACT ANSWERS on what we will be JUDGED ON!

What will you be judged for:

1. You will be judged for your WORDS:

Matthew 12:36 But I say unto you, That EVERY IDLE WORD that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
37 For BY THY WORDS thou shalt be JUSTIFIED, and BY THY WORDS thou shalt be CONDEMNED.

2. You will be judged for your ACTIONS:

Revelation 2:19 I know THY WORKS, and charity, and service, and faith, and thy patience, and thy works; and the last to be more than the first.

Revelation 3:2 Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die: for I have not found THY WORKS perfect before God.

Revelation 20:12 And I saw the dead, the great and the small, standing before the throne, and books were opened; and another book was opened, which is the book of life; and the dead were JUDGED from the things which were written in the books, ACCORDING TO THEIR DEEDS.

2 Corinthians 5:10 For we must all appear before the JUDGMENT seat of Christ, so that each one may be RECOMPENSED for his DEEDS IN THE BODY, according to what he HAS DONE, whether GOOD or BAD.

3. You will be judged for the TRUTH you HEARD but REJECTED and IGNORED:

Matthew 12:47 And if any man HEAR MY WORDS, and BELIEVE NOT, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.

This info on EXACTLY what we will be JUDGED ON comes DIRECTLY from Jesus the King and Judge of all of Us!

More Good News is that He not only tells us what we will be JUDGED by, He tells us EXACTLY HOW TO PASS THE TEST OF JUDGEMENT!


1. Repent to God: TURN AWAY from your sinful ways and thoughts, and Keep God’s 10 Commandments.
2. Believe in and Obey Jesus the King: The Son of God’s Death, Burial, and Resurrection gave you the opportunity to get FORGIVENESS and SALVATION from your sins.
3. Get Baptized in Water: For your NEW LIFE and your New Beginning.
4. Pray for an Overflow of the Holy Spirit: Receive the POWER TO OBEY God, Demonstrate, and Tell others everything you have seen and heard about Jesus.
5. Be Taught and DISCIPLED in the Scriptures.
6. CONNECT with a Commandment keeping Assembly of Believers.
7. LISTEN to God’s Voice and OBEY God daily.

John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:
John 10:5 And a stranger will they not follow, but will flee from him: for they know not the voice of strangers.

LET GO of your PRIDE, HUMBLE yourself.

Judgement day is coming SOON and it is ETERNAL.



Buckle Up for The Most Dangerous Part of Tribulation

As I said in the beginning of 2020… The most dangerous part of this season in history is not the earthquakes, wars, famines, pestilences, and ethnicity rising against ethnicity.

These things can only kill your WALLET or your BODY.

The Most Dangerous thing in this season is the epidemic of false prophets, false anointed ones, false apostles, fake evangelists, and people pleasing shepherds. These things lead to INIQUITY ABOUNDING, and the LOVE of many waxing COLD.


Matthew 24:10 And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.
11 And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.
12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.
13 But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.

I’m seeing unprecedented levels of
Broken covenants
Heresies and Divisions
Rebellion against truth
Disorder and usurping of authority
False teaching motivated by brokenness instead of obedience
False apostles preying on the fatherless
False prophets motivated by Covetousness
Fake evangelists making a name for themselves instead of suffering for the gospel

You have PREPPED to Save your WALLET and your BELLY but have you PREPPED to Save Your SOUL?

Here’s Your Solution – GET an understanding of THIS ONE Scripture:

Proverbs 28:9 He that turneth away his ear from HEARING THE LAW, even his PRAYER SHALL be ABOMINATION.

Realize that Your prayers eventually become ABOMINATION if you don’t want to hear the law of God.

This is why theres such an abundance of false prophecies, misinterpreted dreams, iniquities,deception, and sin spreading thru the Body.


Prayer is not supposed to be a monologue of self-expression with no OBEDIENCE to Scriptures, Commandments, or Ordinances of God!

Turn away from Prideful, One-way Prayer which is DISGUSTING to God. Humility, Patience, and Obedience will protect you from Deception.


Hosea 4:6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast REJECTED KNOWLEDGE, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast FORGOTTEN THE LAW OF THY GOD, I will also forget thy children.

Rev 14:12 Here is the PATIENCE of the saints: here are they that keep the COMMANDMENTS of God, and the FAITH of Jesus.

When the #MessengerofSatan Comes

Kingdom Leaders: When you conquer sin, discard your own will, and begin to keep God’s Commandments and walk in New Covenant Order, you become unstoppable in moving the Kingdom of God forward by Revelation.

The only tool Satan has left in his bag is to start telling boldfaced lies about you within other people’s hearts and minds. It’s called, “The Messenger of Satan.”

2 Corinthians 12:7 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

The sad thing is – there’s Nothing You Can Do About It! Liars believe lies, and they will reproach and persecute you over lies. You just have to be humble and depend on God’s grace to be strong where you are weak.

Those who listen to satan will follow the messenger of satan and be deceived into rebellion. Those who know God’s voice will follow Him and bear fruit in obedience.

That’s really all we got when it comes to Kingdom leadership! No manipulation, no retaliation: just Truth, Love, and Godly Discipline.

The Good news is – when we are at our weakest, that’s when we are strongest in the Kingdom.

He Will Show up, and Show out in the end for His His Servants!

Satan will try to PUNISH you for moving the Kingdom Forward by Revelation.
But God will always REWARD you for moving the Kingdom Forward by Revelation.🔟👑💪🏾

#kingdomleadershiplessons #messengerofsatan

MUST WATCH: Why She Renounced Delta Sigma Theta

MUST WATCH: Why She Renounced Delta Sigma Theta