Q: Many women are afraid of coming on too strong in the beginning of the courtship. They’re afraid of talking about marriage and children right away because they don’t want to run the guy off by seeming thirsty. Many women will date a guy for years and never bring up marriage or children because they are afraid it will run him off.

And I can understand this in secular dating relationships. However, I am interested in knowing what a brotherp] like you would say about this. you are someone who prepared for your wife in advance.

At what point should a godly woman be able to talk about the things she needs to know to determine whether they will complement one another in marriage? Of course, she doesn’t want to come off as desperate. So, how would you suggest she bring up the topics in a way that won’t make the guy thinks she is super desperate? What tips would you give a young unmarried believing woman about this whole topic?

A: A wife is a treasure, and a prize, and a reward for a godly man. If the man doesn’t deserve it, he doesn’t get it. If he doesn’t know the value of a wife, why should he have one?

First off a woman has to know her value. Her father should have instilled it in her by the way he took care of and valued her mother. However, we live in a fatherless generation, so women need to learn their value from reading the Scriptures, from prayer to their Father in heaven, and from Godly pure pastors and shepherds in the Body of Christ (not the snakes and wolves that hide in churches to deceive and prey on sinful women).

My wife always says that diamonds don’t jump in men’s pockets. If a woman knows that she is a treasure (a virtuous woman’s price is far above rubies), then she knows what she’s worth.

She’s not desperate, but game-playing men just don’t have access to her because she knows what she’s worth. If you OWN a Bugatti dealership, there’s certain discussions you don’t have, because you own cars that are worth a certain amount of money. A man comes into the Bugatti dealership with a statement of purpose, and the resources to carry it out.

If a man doesn’t want a family, he cannot approach a godly woman. What would be the purpose of him approaching her? For fun? To get to know her? To slick-talk her? For fornication? To figure out life? He needs to figure out what his purpose is and get a Word from God before he even approaches her.

To be honest, if the woman is the one who has to bring up the purpose and vision of the relationship, the relationship should be eliminated. That just proves the man is really not ready, and has no vision. He just wants to talk, have fun, fornicate… or he just doesn’t understand life yet.

And a godly woman has to be completely comfortable and content with being single until a real man that understands purpose, marriage, family, and life builds up the courage to come correctly and in the proper timing. She even has to be content with Christ as her Bridegroom if the right earthly man never comes to marry her at all.

A godly woman can have a Great Life serving God if she can control her flesh and understand that fornication, child-sacrifce (abortion), and adultery with married men (or divorced men whose original wives are still alive), are NOT options. These are the types of women that will raise a standard and change the world!

I always say that God will raise up men to the standard that holy women demand in prayer and live in purity. But there has to be a generation of women that will value serving God undistractedly way more than they value sex and relationships.

To be honest, covenant marriage and children are just as hard as being single! You can change the world for God without being married, or you can do it while being married.

What really matters in the kingdom of God is holiness and fruitfulness – not whether you can have sex or not. You can be fruitful in the kingdom by making disciples, OR children, OR both.

1 Corinthians 7: 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

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